Caution: only a tiny bit of Thanksgiving dinner mixed with your kibble may cause loss of interest in anything not food-related and severe dish separation anxiety. Please seek help if the feeling of impairness to move away from the dish lasts more than four hours.
(* This REALLY happened. Actual patient, not an actor.)
Mom swears she'll lose weight if she walks every morning. Never mind that she has bread with butter for breakfast, that she orders peruvian food for lunch - which used to be enough for two or three meals but she now eats almost all of it - and that on most days she can't resist ordering also peruvian dessert with it.
Then, to make things worst, some mornings she comes back with an empty cup (one of those that have a green lady with wild hair and a star in the back) and a muffin or a bagel with cream cheese in the stroller. Even if she denies it, I can smell it.
We should switch diets, mom. How about some kibble with raw carrots for breakfast and dinner and 4 raw green beans for a snack, mother? What's that? Oh, sorry, we don't serve lunch.
Thank you for the birthday wishes for mom, friends. She got a carrot cake at work, for a little breakfast birthday celebration. Her co-workers didn't sing happy birthday because they didn't find any candles. And they are all men, the kind of men that jump straight to eat the cake before singing songs. Then, later at night, mom went to a restaurant with daddy and my sister. I didn't go because mom went straight from work. Daddy is the kind of men that don't think about the important details - like to bring the pug to a family dinner. Anyway, they had to eat as fast as possible because my sister was tired and making dinner unbearable for mom, dad, and all the other - unknown to them - restaurant guests. No chance to get a decent dessert to sing happy birthday with.
Today mom found what was left of the carrot cake in the refrigerator. We kids got all excited with the idea of finally singing happy birthday and eating cake (You guys now I love carrots - that's part of my daily diet).
Before mom got a chance to get her hands on the cake, daddy said:
"Let's throw that away. It is full of sugar and the kind of ingredients that make you fat".
Dad, are you kidding? That's why it IS a recipe for instant happiness, silly you!!! Bring the cake!
A week ago mom started to feel older and more tired than usual. Good timing, since today it is her birthday and she got closer to being forty years old.
A week ago, also, mom noticed a gray whisker on me. That's what you get when you share a house with an old lady like mom.
Good morning friends,
You may not have noticed, but little sister likes to play with dolls. Problem is, she doesn't have any - but she has ME. Yes, I've been dressed up with all sorts of pink and flowery clothing.
Long story short, this is what happened yesterday:
- I was about to be dressed with a purple tutu.
- I refused to wear it.
- Mom begged. I said "no way". Tantrum started.
- I suggested shopping therapy for the upset ladies (and/or babies)
- Three hours later, they came back from mom's favorite store.
- I approved the new clothes.
- End of story.
Today, my mother decided that her resolution for the next 365 days would be to exercise every morning - sort of like a two month early New Year's resolution for 2012, or a ten month late one for 2011. Odd, I know.
In our neighborhood, you can always see sporty people bicycling, walking, running or else. There's also older couples and new moms trying to get in shape.
Then there's the half-asleep lady wearing crocs that pushes a stroller with one hand and drags a pug with the other, in hope of loosing some weight.
Odd, I know.
Oh, how I wish sleep time was important for the little kid in my home. My parents and I have been struggling for a while with a stubborn girl who won't stop giggling and playing even while in bed. It is even causing problems between mom and dad. Why? Because dad tries to discipline her while mom just cracks up because my sister is very funny. I second mom but not to upset dad, I just grumble.
